South Park’s multi-episode arc involving Donald Trump and Satan’s love baby came to a epic conclusion on Wednesday night with a Christmas-themed episode titled “Crap Out.”
***Major Spoilers Ahead***
The episode’s throughline follows three Christmas-miracle wishes: Stan hopes for a reversal of fortune after his dad loses his job, his family loses their home, and he ends up living in a nursing home; Trump continues scheming to get rid of Satan’s baby; and Satan, back at the White House, eagerly prepares for the arrival of their evil spawn.
In a bid to make his wish come true, Stan heads to a toilet to summon Mr. Hankey, only to be greeted by the satanic Woodland Creatures, a callback to the classic Season 8 Christmas episode. Meanwhile, while doing laundry, Satan encounters “Trump’s cum rag” Towelie and uncovers the truth about Trump’s sexual relationship with J.D. Vance and his plan to get rid of the baby.
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Satan heads to South Park to confront Trump (who himself is there to break Peter Thiel out of jail). “This child will be born, and for once you will have to live with the consequences of your actions,” Satan declares. But Trump finds an unexpected ally in Jesus, a reformed guitar-playing Christian bro: “Keep your hands off my president!” Jesus exclaims. “I got another Christian dipshit to help me get what I want,” Trump eagerly crows. (As an aside, we also learn that Trump has gentile warts.)
It all leads to a dramatic standoff at the hospital as Satan is due to give birth, with Trump, Vance, Jesus, Thiel, and Pete Hegseth staring down Stan and the Woodland Creatures. “All I know is I should help someone get their Christmas miracle,” Stan declares in an impassioned speech, compelling Jesus to switch sides.
But the turn is moot: the doctor informs everyone the baby has pulled an Epstein, by taking its own life via hanging. There was even a lost minute of ultrasound footage.
That’s a wrap on new South Park episodes until next fall — or possibly forever, if Trump decides to throw Trey Parker and Matt Stone in a gulag after this season’s antics. It’s been a pleasure recapping; dive into our full coverage here.
